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   His church was badly in need of a coat of paint, so the pastor decided he’d do the job himself. But, alas, all he had was one bucket of paint. Being quite frugal, he collected a bunch of buckets and some water, and thinned the paint to make enough to cover the entire church.

   After the pastor spent all day painting the church, a very hard rain occurred overnight, washing away all the paint.

   After discovering what happened, the pastor was quite discouraged and asked God, “Why … why, God, did you let it rain and wash off all my hard work?”

   God gave his thundering reply, “Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!”

Pastor O’Malley answered the phone one day.

“Hello, is this Pastor O’Malley?”

“It is”

“This is the IRS. Can you help us?”

“I can”

“Do you know a Ted Houlihan?”

“I do”

“Is he a member of your congregation?”

“He is”

“Did he donate $10,000 to the church?”

“He will”

   Going over the church finances, the finance director found a receipt from a local paint store signed by someone named Christian. He wasn’t aware of anyone buying paint, so he called the store to point out its mistake.

   “I’m sorry,” he explained to the store employee, “but there are no Christians here at First Baptist Church.”

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